not complaining, just pondering

Mother’s Day. There are some days that I do not like. And I almost feel guilty for saying this but Mother’s Day is one of them. Each year, I celebrate thru April, grasping on each day so that it lasts until the very last drop. Then May comes with the jasmine smell deluding me into thinking that this year, Mother’s day will be different and I’ll be able to put away my dislike of the day and truly enjoy it.  Don’t get me wrong. I love being with my kids- they’re the best and spoil me completely. And although most years find Paul with his mom on the day, he knows my love language is diamonds-or any other surprisingly wonderful gift!

The problem is that deep inside I find the whole day a little forced. It’s like people are forced to appreciate and honor their moms on this one day so on the rest of the days they can make fun of, take advantage of, and generally neglect. Doesn’t that seem a little weird, or is just me? Now, I’m not saying my family does that, not at all… although they do enjoy a good joke on mom! Just in general it seems like most moms are stretched pretty thin, even on Mother’s Day.

One mother told me, she was tired of the stress that Mother’s Day causes her. She’s never had one that was focused on her. She spends the day cooking for her mom, finding the perfect mother-in-law’s gift, and now making sure her children get to enjoy their mother’s day. She’s sandwiched between mothers. What she’d really like is a little peace and quiet, a day of no expectations. Wow, what would that be like?  Can’t imagine, and I’m a pretty creative person.

I think my problem is that I like authenticity. I like emotions that come from a deep and special place from within. I like days to be treasured because of the spontaneity of emotions and connections.  I want honoring a mother to be authentic, and coming on a random day of special meaning- like my kids’ birthday. That’s my real mother’s day, the day out of the year I feel most a mother. When my heart almost bursts with joy as I celebrate the people who’s birth most changed my life. Without them, I wouldn’t be a mother.

Maybe we’ve got this all wrong. Maybe we should celebrate mothers on the anniversaries of their children. And maybe we should celebrate birthdays on Mother’s Day, showing appreciation for making us mothers. Hummm, wonder if the same thing would work for Father’s Day?

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